Do You Feel Frustrated and Lonely in Your Relationships?
Do you feel like you lack a deep and meaningful relationship with your significant other? Are you frequently fighting or in conflict? Do you wonder what can be done to improve communication between you and your partner? Marital counseling can help you manage these challenges in your life. I offer couples and marriage therapy in Northern New Jersey. I will provide a reflective and safe space for each of you to explore the dynamics of your relationship. I also offer new and interactive new ways and games for facilitating positive communication in your relationship.
Counseling is about helping you both to be heard, increasing the likelihood that each one of you will improve your respective relationship. Just taking that first step will help both of you to feel heard, and to communicate with greater ease.
With Couples Counseling, You and Your Partner Can Rebuild Your Relationship
I have helped many couples, and I can help you to. My approach is based on my extensive training in family systems and couples therapy at the Ackerman Institute for the Family. Please see some of my testimonials below.
When we first came to see Benjamin, we would always fight about the major life decisions we had to make together. We couldn’t agree on how and when to discuss pregnancy, marriage, or even our finances. Benjamin was attuned to what made these topics so challenging for us to address. He also addressed how our own family experiences impacted our expectations for our relationship. After a few months of treatment, we gained considerable comfort in discussing everything from planning for a child to our drinking habits. I am proud to say that I recently became pregnant!
Throughout my relationship I have always sacrificed my own needs for my children and husband. I felt deeply betrayed when I found out about his infidelity. There was no trust or communication. Benjamin heard and understood the pain that I had carried around for so long. He also provided me with the support I needed to fully express this to my partner. He also allowed us both time to process our thoughts and feelings. I also greatly appreciate that Benjamin did not only focus on the affair, but also the underlying dynamics in our relationship. These areas included child-rearing and open communication regarding emotional needs, which helped each of us to feel more comfortable expressing ourselves.
You may believe that couples counseling can help you and your partner restore love and intimacy, but still have questions or concerns…
My partner and I already fight about everything, so how do I know that seeing a therapist is going to be any different?
Behind conflict, there are likely unidentified needs that have yet to be fully identified and expressed. You and your partner might be struggling to truly hear one another. Working with a trained professional who can fully listen to both partners – helping each of you to identify and express your own needs – can lead to a better understanding of the factors that provoked the fighting to begin with. Afterwards, you can begin to work toward resolution. In counseling, you can start to resolve the conflicts that might feel impossible right now. My training in Emotionally Focused couples therapy from the Ackerman Institute has prepared me to work with couples.
What if my partner does not want to come to couples counseling?
For couples and marriage counseling to work, your partner’s presence is important. However, there are many times when a person will first prefer to see a therapist individually. His or her partner may join at a later point. I will work with both of you to help each other become better able to express your innermost needs and desires without fear of judgment. I encourage each of you to look at counseling not as a reflection of the problems in your relationship, but as an opportunity to build a more positive connection between both of you.
What if we also have our own individual, personal challenges we are dealing with. How will couples therapy help with that?
Sometimes, one person in the relationship may have a variety of personal challenges or difficulties he or she is attempting to overcome. It may be helpful for you and your partner to examine how one person’s individual circumstances may impact the entire relationship. While examining what each person brings, you and your partner can better understand your own internal struggles and how to communicate and resolve them.
With guidance, you and your partner can feel empowered to develop the relationship you want and need. Please feel free to call me to schedule a free initial 15-minute phone consultation Contact. I am happy to answer any questions you might have about couples and family counseling and my practice.