Do You Feel Frustrated and Lonely in Your Relationship?
Do you feel like you lack a deep and meaningful relationship with your significant other? Are you frequently fighting or in conflict? Do you wonder what can be done to improve the communication between yourself and your partner? The good news is that working with a therapist can help to restore a level of intimacy you deserve. As a couples therapist, I will provide a reflective and safe space for each of you to not only explore the dynamics of your relationship, but to also develop interactive games and new ways of facilitating positive communication between each other.
With Couples Counseling, You and Your Partner Can Rebuild Your Relationship
I have helped many couples identify and explore the most intimate parts of their lives in order to restore healthy communication. Please see some of my testimonials below.
When we first came to see Benjamin, we would always fight about the major life decisions we had to make together; we couldn’t agree on how and when to discuss pregnancy, marriage, or even our finances. Benjamin was attuned to what made these topics so challenging for us to address, including how our own family experiences impacted our expectations for our relationship. After a few months of treatment, we gained considerable comfort in discussing everything from planning for a child to our drinking habits, and I am proud to say that I recently became pregnant!
Throughout my relationship I have always sacrificed my own needs for my children and husband, and so I felt deeply betrayed when I found out about his infidelity, and I didn’t know if I could trust him anymore, but I didn’t know how to say this to him. Benjamin heard and understood the pain that I had carried around for so long, and provided me with the support I needed to fully express this to my partner, while also encouraging him to process my thoughts and feelings, while also allowing him time to express his own. I also greatly appreciate that Benjamin did not only focus on the affair, but also the underlying dynamics in our relationship, from child rearing to communicating our emotional needs, which helped each of us to feel more comfortable expressing them openly for the first time.
You may believe that couples counseling can help you and your partner restore love and intimacy, but still have questions or concerns…
My partner and I already fight about everything, so how do I know that seeing a therapist is going to be any different?
Behind conflict, there are likely unidentified needs that have yet to be fully identified and expressed. You and your partner might be struggling to truly hear one another. Working with a trained professional who can fully listen to both partners – helping each of you to identify and express your own needs – can lead to a better understanding of the factors that provoked the fighting to begin with. Then, you can begin to work toward resolution. In counseling, you can start to resolve the conflicts that might feel impossible right now.
What if my partner does not want to come to couples counseling?
For couples counseling to work, your partner’s presence is important. However, there are many times when a person will prefer to see a therapist individually, allowing his or her partner to join at a later point. I will also work with both of you to help each other become better able to express your innermost needs and desires without fear of judgement. I encourage each of you to look at counseling not as a reflection of the problems in your relationship, but as an opportunity to build a more positive connection between you both.
What if we also have our own individual, personal challenges we are dealing with. How will couples therapy help with that?
Sometimes, one person in the relationship may have a variety of personal challenges or difficulties he or she is attempting to overcome, and although couples counseling will always focus on the relationship, it may be helpful for you and your partner to examine how one person’s individual circumstances may impact the entire relationship. While examining what each person brings, and its impact on your specific relationship dynamic, you and your partner can better understand your own internal struggles and how to communicate and resolve them.
With guidance, you and your partner can feel empowered to develop the relationship you want and need. Please feel free to call me to schedule a free initial 15-minute phone consultation. I am happy to answer any questions you might have about couples counseling and my practice.