Mental health professionals have been identifying strategies for a successful relationship with ADHD. In fact, there are multiple online publications regarding this topic. However, ADHD’s impact on the dating process has been less explored. With the overwhelming influx of online profiles, multiple personal details to remember from different dates, and sometimes distracting and overstimulating environments such as bars and clubs, it can be helpful to build a list of strategies for having success and fun while dating with ADHD.
An ADDitude magazine article does mention some tips that include listening to your instincts and keeping a list of important qualities in a partner (Sarkis, 2010). However, these techniques can be expanded to include approaches for reducing excessive environmental distractions by strategically using dating apps, taking notes to remember details, and finding alternative venues and approaches. I elaborate on some of these below.
There are a variety of techniques for managing online dating. In general, reducing the overwhelm of new potential matches can be helpful someone with ADHD to focus in on a few potential people at a time while remembering strategies for success Specifically, it can be helpful to create a criterion for potential matches to reduce incompatibility and distraction. Also, it may be prudent to communicate specifically with a few potential dates at a time to enhance one’s ability to remember details regarding the other person. Staying on one app instead of multiple ones can help to minimize distractibility and overwhelm as well.
When going on multiple dates, it is easy to forget different details and information regarding every person you meet. Therefore, it is wise to take a few moments after a date to jot down important notes regarding the other person and to review them before your next date. Also, it can be helpful to spread out your dates so that you have more time to remember the details and process each one. Although this strategy may lead to meeting fewer people, being better able to remember the details of each experience ultimately results in better connections and experiences. It is also worthwhile to look into the possibility of dating in alternative venues that are less distracting, such as quieter restaurants, book readings, plays, etc. Sometimes. getting to know someone gradually, such as in a meetup group, is better than the rapid pace of modern-day dating.
It is important to note that individuals with ADHD do have a variety of different strengths as well, including creativity and spontaneity. Activities that involve art, the outdoors, and exercise can be great opportunities that play to one’s strengths. Also, some individuals with ADHD enjoy improv and other activities that involve spontaneity. Finding a venue where you can thrive and show your strengths is often a good idea for somebody with ADHD.
Although there are challenges in dating with ADHD, by using the right approach, one can have success. Simply using a few techniques to focus in on a few people while dating and remembering details does go a long way. Also. although it may be challenging, dating can also allow individuals with ADHD to demonstrate their strengths. Let’s not forget that it is also ok to have some fun during this process!
Sarkis, S. (2010, May 1). Save the Date! Dating Advice & Strategies for Adults with ADHD. Retrieved from ADDItude magazine : https://www.additudemag.com/dating-advice-adhd-relationships/